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Post by Hayvn on Mar 22, 2013 1:10:10 GMT -5
Cook
Username: Hayvn (admin)
Character Number: 4
Name: Kularin Iilurin
Age: 33 Turns
Rank: Master cook
Where they are from: Silence Weyr, Silence Country
Location: Orilia Hold, Silence Country
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Appearance:
Kularin is a sweet woman. And it shows in the lines of her face and the way her mouth and eyes can light up with a quick smile. Her hair is a sort of auburn in color with just enough of a red tinge to call it that. She typically pulls it up, though around her face it is shorter and can be seen falling around her face in subtle little curls and waves. Her bangs hang down over her eyebrows and looks to be quite shaggy. Her hair is usually pulled back into a loose and messy bun.
Her green eyes are very expressive and always seem to reflect what she is feeling. She truly wears her emotions on her sleeves with expressions that can turn quickly no matter how hard she tries to hide them. Kularin is no longer a young girl, but she certainly feels like it sometimes. Her gentle, kind and almost childlike spirit shines through her eyes and her smiles all the time.
That being said, it is with some surprise that some might find that she most often acts with a true dignity and grace, holding herself more like a queen or a princess than a mere cook. There is a certain bravery in the way she faces the world and looks out at the pain around her. Her hands are not devoid of scars - having earned their fair share in training as a child and her arm has the jagged markings of a claw from her days as a Candidate. These are things she does not bother to hide. She lacks a certain sensuality in her manner despite her very feminine form and accentuated curves.
Kularin could possibly be considered a wraith when outside the kitchens. A ghost trying to fade away. She deals with her pain by trying to let it swallow her - not a very good way to deal with it - but she does and it shows. Kularin is always watching, looking for an angel here in Badlands. She is quiet about it though. But she is determined to find the angels hiding - the truly good people, here. She has a hard time with trust and belief. This is something that does not show, but is a fact and it is what effects her way of moving and watching others when outside of her comfort zone.
Her skin is pale, though her cheeks and nose are a bit ruddy due to a very common skin ailment known as rosacea. She dislikes this particular flaw of hers. When she blushes, her face turns even more red and with her hair having that bit of red to it, she really does not like it. She tries to avoid blushing at all times for this purpose, though she typically fails miserably.
Her lips are a soft rosy pink and have a soft rounded cast to them. They sit below a rather... average nose. Her eyes sit beautifully on either size framed by dark eyelashes. All this is set in a heart shaped face. she likes the way her face looks and would not much like it. For a woman who doubts her own value, her eyes and her face are one of the few things she looks at and sees any real beauty in. She would like to keep that, though age seems to be killing it quite slowly.
Personality:
Rin is a soft spoken woman at the best of times and a completely silent one at others. She lacks self-confidence in all but her cooking. The kitchen is really the only place you're going to get her to talk because that is her safety zone. Where she feels like she is most at home. Everything else is more difficult. There has been a lot of loss around the Weyr and around her since she was a child. Most people seem to be so tough while Kularin always seems to feel quite weak. This is one of those things which truly bothers her.
Though, perhaps, more shy than most, Rin will not hesitate to talk to someone in the kitchens and even flirt with a male she finds handsome from time to time. But she has issues with trusting people - especially with herself and she is always looking for those angels which seem to be truly rare. She finds herself let down constantly by human nature as she tends to try to hold people to a higher standard than anyone could possibly hope to truly meet... but she is also quite forgiving of the shortcomings of others because, after all, she falls short far more often than she would like to admit to herself, but she admits it anyways. It makes her more self-conscious than she is already prone to be, but she finds it much easier to see the bad than the good.
Kularin tends to be endearingly sweet. Almost sugar sweet. She hides her problems from the world behind a mask of sugar and spice and all things that are nice. Perhaps that is part of why she decided to become a cook. And perhaps that is why she likes to be the one to make all the sweet treats? Perhaps, or perhaps it is simply that she feels this is a way that she can show the people of Badlands how special they are. Or perhaps because she feels she can brighten someone's day by doing so. Whatever the case, Kularin wants to be her own sort of angel, but she doesn't believe that she has the capacity to do so. But she'll settle for being able to help feed the Weyr and give sweet treats to the children every now and again.
Rin is a mothering sort of person and can't help but be attracted to those who are broken or in need of a caretaker. She has a need to fix those around her and takes their pain upon herself, making her life much more difficult in the process. It is the quiet people who are hurting that get most of her attention and she is most likely to talk to. Children, especially, earn her attention and she will often go to take treats to both the staff and children who are in the care of the creche.
Rin knows pain and has experienced her fair share throughout time. It is obvious to some that she is still hurting, but she has internalized that pain and turned others away from helping her in attempts not to be a burden to others. She has a gentle and kind spirit underneath that has a nearly childlike nature. Though, the truth of the matter is that this small corner of a carefree nature is as much a shield as it is a part of who she is. It is how she handles insults and pains, to fall back to a childlike innocence which is free of pain. To hide behind this something. Though she is a grown woman and is fully aware of it. She tries hard to push herself, but she feels as though she fails again and again.
Rin is not well suited to life at Badlands and she knows it. Which is why she must try harder and hold more back. So that she may not be a burden on the rest of the Weyr. But she is looking for an angel - her angel. She desires to have someone who can take care of her as much as she wants to take care of everyone else.
Kularin often sees the bad in everyone else rather quickly. It is so easy to see the bad traits. But she tries to pretend they aren't there much of the time, befriending someone no matter how badly they treat her. She will tell herself they are having a bad day or something of that nature, though she never has made a friend she would consider to actually be more than an acquaintance.
For all these things, it can be said that Kularin is not one to be easily romanced. Far from it in fact. She is suspicious of the intentions of people who try to befriend her, though she is generally polite and will allow them to hang around her and even act like a friend. It just.... doesn't work that way when it comes to her and relationships. She is very particular and very careful. She much rather hide during a flight than let the lust or a lusting rider get to her and she much rather hide away than simply let a man sweep her off her feet.
Men, in her eyes, are difficult. Especially to trust and because of this, she has no desire to easily give her heart or mind to one. Nor to share her thoughts. Despite this, it is not hard for her to become infatuated with a man for a time, though she keeps such things under strict control and will even, eventually, be able to put them off all together, moving on quite seamlessly or pretending they never existed in the first place.
For all her weakness and fear, she has an iron will which is hard to break. When she sets her mind to a thing, no matter how much pain it may cause her or how hard it may be, she will not stop until she has accomplished that which she has set out to do. When she knows what she wants, it is hard to make her let go. Stubborn is as stubborn does, some would say. Her strength of will, though it does not shine through, is truly remarkable in the eyes of some and a true nuisance in the eyes of others. Despite her appearance and seemingly subdued nature, there is that will in there, though it seems to have long grown rusty from lack of use in anything but maintaining what she has quietly and peacefully. Rin is used to just going along with what is said, often afraid to stand up for herself. However, when she truly is moved by something or finds that she is truly upset about something, her temper does the work forward and that is when that force of will becomes most truly seen. She will fight if she feels it is absolutely necessary, though she does not believe that violence is ever the best answer.... even when it is a necessary one.
The truth hurts, but Rin much rather know or be told the truth than have a sugar coated lie. However, this is a bit of a hypocrisy with her as she will often give someone a sugar coated lie than the truth if she thinks that it would be better for them to here - though this is mostly with those who are infirm or with children who may not be able to understand or deal with the truth that they might here. Sometimes... even a white lie, sugar coated and all, leads to some bad blood, though.
History
Kularin was born in the turn 4980 during the first few days of Planting season. She was born to a young woman by name of Mireen and a young man by name of Kalurin. Both were residents of the Weyr. It was a mistake that had birthed Kularin, one that her father did not want any part in. He was still young. Only eighteen. And he could still stand. And, in fact, he still had a life ahead of him. Mireen had been older than him, but he had actually put the effort into wooing her. He had only planned on having a few nights of fun... but when she became pregnant, Mireen was insistent he take some responsibility for the child. They weren't dragon riders and she did not want her child raised in the creche. Though that was what happened anyways as Mireen had to continue her work as a baker in order to have her keep and that of her daughter's as well. Life was never particularly easy for Mireen who suffered from what could only be described as panic attacks which left her in a state entirely unable to work.
This did not go unnoticed by her child even at a young age. At first, Mireen tried to be brave and suffer through with a brave face for her little girl. But as she grew, her mother grew progressively worse.
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